Alright lads (and curious shoppers), let’s take a proper dive into the world of men’s pleasure products. Whether you're just dipping your toes into the waters of self-care or you're a seasoned toy collector, this guide’s here to walk you through the big three: cock rings, strokers, and anal vibes. Let’s get honest, practical, and a bit cheeky about what each one brings to the table—or the bedroom, bathroom, or back of the car...
Cock Rings: The Unsung Heroes of Staying Power
Also known as penis rings, these little gems are all about helping you stay harder for longer. They're like your own personal hype-man, cheering you on during playtime.
Why blokes love them:
✅ Rock-solid erections that don’t clock off early
✅ Can help you last longer in bed (thank us later)
✅ Some come with buzzers for shared thrills
✅ Dead easy on the wallet – most are budget-friendly
✅ Loads of styles – from silicone softies to metal heavy-hitters
But not all roses:
🚫 Too tight = trouble. Choose the right size, mate
🚫 Can’t wear 'em too long – this isn’t a marathon
🚫 Not for everyone – if you’ve got blood flow issues, have a chat with your GP first
🚫 May take a bit of trial and error to find your fave
How they compare:
Unlike Viagra or pills, this is a natural, drug-free helper. And while a cock sleeve covers more of your shaft, the ring focuses on keeping the strength where it counts.
Masturbation Cups: The Next-Level Wank Buddy
You’ve had a solo session before—but have you tried one with suction, textured walls, and realistic feels? These cups are like a posh private session that fits in your bedside drawer.
Why they're worth a go:
✅ Real-feel action that mimics the real deal
✅ Loads of textures and tunnels for personalised thrills
✅ Great for discreet pleasure – no faff, no mess
✅ Easy to clean (unless you leave it soaking in the sink, ya muppet)
✅ Some models even offer suction or heating—hello luxury!
The fine print:
🚫 Needs cleaning – hygiene first, lads
🚫 Good ones can be a bit pricey
🚫 You might need to try a few to find your fave sensation
How they compare:
Way more immersive than the hand. Unlike vibes, they’re focused entirely on you. Some even offer warming—try that with a cold lube bottle!
👉 Shop it: Tenga Flip Zero EV Electronic Vibration
This one’s a proper bit of kit. Textured tunnels, dual motors, and built-in vibration that’ll blow your socks off—quietly. Flip it open, rinse it off, ready for round two. A luxury wank with none of the guilt.
Anal Vibrators: Not Just for the Curious Few
Now don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. Anal play is on the rise, and for good reason. These toys are built for pleasure, especially around the prostate (yes, that’s the male G-spot, and yes, it’s very real).
Why it might be your new fave:
✅ Deep, full-body orgasms that’ll blow your mind
✅ Helps you chill out—no lie, it’s proper relaxing
✅ Different shapes and vibes to suit your bum's mood
✅ Many are prostate-friendly for that next-level tingle
What to watch for:
🚫 Might feel weird at first – take it slow
🚫 Cleanliness is non-negotiable
🚫 You’ll need a good water-based lube—no cutting corners
🚫 Some folks have mental blocks – that’s totally normal
How they compare:
More buzz than a plug. More pressure than beads. Some even offer external perineum stimulation—fancy stuff!
👉 Shop it: Lelo Bruno
This is the Rolls-Royce of bum fun. Deep rumbling dual motors, body-safe silicone, and a prostate-hugging curve that gets it just right. Waterproof too, so you can take it for a cheeky soak.
Final Thoughts: Real Talk from the Bedroom
Let’s be honest—this gear isn’t just about sex, it’s about confidence, curiosity, and feeling bloody fantastic in your own skin.
✅ Cock rings are the go-to wingman for lasting longer.
✅ Masturbation cups take solo sessions to a different universe.
✅ Anal vibrators are for the bold, the curious, and those chasing peak pleasure.
There’s no right or wrong—just what works for you. Explore, have a laugh, and take your time. You do you (literally).