Women and Masturbating: We've Come a Long Way, Baby
Absolutely amazing how women have progressed from those days of feeling ashamed and burdened by the idea of self-pleasure to the present, where the leading characters in the Netflix comedy series "Grace and Frankie" have built a thriving business centered around a vibrator designed with the needs of mature women in mind. Not to mention, the character Aimee in the hit show "Sex Education" learns a multitude of ways to explore her own pleasure, giving her the confidence to express her desires openly to her boyfriend. It's a far cry from the days of secrecy and guilt – embracing solo moments now allows these women to fully embrace and assert their own sexuality without any reservations.
Usually, guys don't hear as much criticism about self-pleasure compared to girls. In the past, people mainly thought women's sexuality was only about making babies and satisfying men. Also, because girls are often taught to think about others before themselves and take care of everyone, many feel that doing something just for their own happiness is very selfish, which is why they might feel guilty.
Masturbation, a term that was once shrouded in shame and secrecy, is now emerging as a powerful tool for women's empowerment. Dr. Christin Bowman, a critical social psychologist, points out that embracing self-pleasure challenges the historical narrative that confined women's sexuality to serving others. "Masturbation as a solitary act is really just self-pleasuring, so there can be some emotion about you doing something that is all about you and your pleasure," explains Dr. Bowman. "It’s not productive; it’s just fun for you. That women’s own sexual pleasure also matters becomes a radical notion when you consider this long, long history of our attitude toward women’s sexuality."
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“It’s complicated because we have defined women’s lives as well as sexuality in terms of what women can do for others,” explains Christin Bowman, PhD, a critical social psychologist who did her master’s and doctorate theses on women and masturbation. “Masturbation as a solitary act is really just self-pleasuring, so there can be some emotion about you doing something that is all about you and your pleasure. It’s not productive; it’s just fun for you. That women’s own sexual pleasure also matters becomes a radical notion when you consider this long, long history of our attitude toward women’s sexuality.”
5 Reasons Why Women Masturbate
In her studies, Dr. Bowman found five reasons why women masturbate:
For sexual pleasure To learn about or better understand their bodies As a release As a substitute for partner sex Due to general sexual dissatisfaction Women were more likely to feel good about the act and not feel guilty or embarrassed if they had a positive view of their private parts and if they said they masturbated to feel sexual pleasure and understand their bodies better.
“There is a connection between the two, but we don’t know which causes which: Does sexual empowerment cause masturbation or does masturbation cause sexual empowerment?” says Bowman.
4 Health Benefits of Masturbation
According to Lou Paget, a certified sex educator and the author of Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming, getting lost in the deep end can boost your health profile for the following reasons:
Experiencing pleasure during this activity triggers the release of "feel good" hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. Oxytocin also has a calming effect and lowers stress.
Engaging in this activity enhances blood flow to the private area, promoting strength and health of the tissue.The contractions during orgasm help make the muscles in the pelvic floor stronger.
It's a form of "safe sex" since there's no risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.
Masturbation Will Improve Your Partnered Sexual Activity
Your partner can't guess what you like, so it's important to speak up. If you explain what feels good gently, your partner will listen. You can even try some sex toys and masturbating together to show each other what you enjoy. It's a fun and intimate way to connect.
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Masturbation 101: Tips for Beginners
If you still can’t get past the notion that masturbation is dirty and obscene — if every time you go there, your mother pops into your head, screaming at you that you’re disgusting — you can learn to quell the noise. Paget says, “Your body is your body. No one else should control your sexuality. Tell yourself that this is healthy for you, and your body is a thing of beauty, not shame.”
Start off slowly if you have to; you don’t have to do everything at once. If you're shy, cover yourself with a blanket. Get comfortable just touching yourself lightly and follow a sexy fantasy. Or just squeeze your thighs together in a rhythmic motion. Give yourself a chance to explore what works for you. Here are a few tips to get you started:
Stimulate your clitoris using a finger or an object to gently stroke the clitoris. Insert your fingers or sex toys into your vagina. Accept your fantasies. They’re yours; you don’t have to tell anyone. Whatever type of erotica works for you, go for it. As Paget says, your largest sexual organ is your brain, so get it involved. Get some of mother’s little helpers: a vibrator, lubricant, ben wa balls, whatever knocks your socks off. (There are discreet online and brick-and-mortar shops for women. If you don’t want to leave a computer history, change your browser setting to private.) Take a shower. “It's where most people find out what they like. They are alone, naked, and touching their body. And for women with children, it is sometimes the only place they can be alone without being interrupted,” says Paget. Avoid getting urinary tract infections. Anytime you are doing anything to your genitals, wash your hands before and afterward. Clean sex toys after using them, and this is one time when you should never share your toys. Anything that goes anally never goes vaginally. Ready to go check your undercarriage now?
Go ahead, you’ll feel better if you do!
Additional information:
https://www.loupaget.com/
https://www.ohsu.edu/womens-health/benefits-healthy-sex-life