We Had Sex for the First Time in Ages… And It Was So Awkward I Laughed Mid-Thrust
Let’s be honest.
The first shag after a long dry spell? It’s never like the movies. It’s clumsy. It’s squeaky. You forget what to do with your hands. And someone always gets a leg cramp.
But if Reddit threads (and my group chat) are anything to go by, you’re not alone. Life gets in the way—kids, work, mental health, the fact that someone left toenail clippings in the bed (yes, James, we noticed).
And when you do finally give it a go again?
It’s a bit like trying to ride a bike… while drunk… uphill… with your ex watching.
“Need a reset? Our couples kits are perfect for breaking the awkward ice.”
Why Is It So Bloody Awkward?
Because no one talks about it. We’re told sex should be spontaneous, effortless, and full of moans and candles. But real life?
More like: “Wait, is that the dog watching us?”
Dry spells don’t just affect your body—they mess with your head. You start overthinking:
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“Do I still know what they like?”
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“Am I still good at this?”
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“Should I fake it just to get it over with?” (No. Stop that.)
And worst of all? You start to dread the very thing you used to crave.
Let’s Talk Fixes—Because the Vibe Is Revivable 🔥
1. Break the Ice (Not Your Back)
Start with a laugh. Sex isn’t serious. If your knees crack when you get on top, own it. Nothing kills tension faster than honesty and a smirk.
💡 Try This: Use a cheeky massage oil or warming gel. It gives you something to do with your hands and sets the mood without the pressure of “right, trousers off now.”
🛍️ Our fave foreplay fixers:
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She Spot Intimate Gel – for when she’s not in the mood... until she suddenly is.
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Electric Fellatio Lip Gloss – let’s just say oral becomes an event.
2. Use Lube. Like, Always.
Your vagina doesn’t care if you love him. If it’s been a while, things might not get as wet as your pride would like. That’s normal. Lube isn’t cheating. Lube is foreplay’s BFF.
💡 Hot tip: Use something with a little tingle or buzz. It tricks your brain into thinking “oh, we’re doing this,” even if your body’s been in hibernation mode.
🛍️ Give these a go:
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Orgie Xtra Time Delay Serum – for him, if he’s worried he’ll last shorter than a Tesco meal deal.
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Hemp! Intense Orgasm Gel – because once she starts feeling that, she’s not tapping out.
3. Don’t Chase the Orgasm—Chase the Fun
Here’s a wild idea: what if it’s not about who comes first? What if it’s just about feeling good and reconnecting? Crazy, I know.
Drop the pressure. Keep it light. And for the love of lube, don’t try to re-enact Pornhub positions. You’ll do your back in.
Still Feeling Weird About It?
That’s alright. The best way to beat the awkward is to keep going. Not every shag has to be epic. But if you stop trying altogether, it just gets harder (pun not intended… or maybe it is).
You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Rusty.
So yeah, the first time after a break might be weird. You might giggle. Someone might fart (quietly). And you might wonder if this is what it’s always gonna be like.
But give it a few rounds—with the right toys, lube, and a bloody good sense of humour—and you’ll both remember why you got naked together in the first place.
🛒 Feeling inspired? Have a little scroll through our Intimacy Essentials section. It’s like therapy… only it buzzes.
🎁 Want to explore more? Browse our [Pleasure Bundles & Starter Kits]