Buzzed in Aisle 6: The Day He Couldn’t Wait
It started as a joke, really.
A dare to himself. Something to break the monotony of another lonely weekend.
Jamie had always been a quiet bloke — lived alone, kept his flat tidy, watched his neighbours through the curtains but never waved. He’d read about people getting off in public before — always thought it was mad. But after a few too many solo sessions and a recent binge-read of erotic Reddit threads, something inside him clicked. Or snapped. He wasn’t sure.
And that’s how he ended up walking into his local supermarket at 10:43 PM with a LOVENSE Edge 2 prostate massager buzzing away inside him.
Not full blast. He wasn’t an idiot. Just a steady thrum, the kind that teased rather than tipped. Controlled by the app on his phone, nestled snugly in his jacket pocket.
He wore loose joggers. No underwear. A long hoodie. Sensible, in a criminal sort of way.
And he’d lubed up earlier, using the Sliquid Organics Natural Gel — his go-to. Gentle, thick, and didn’t leave him walking like he’d just been on a Slip ’N Slide.
He grabbed a basket and wandered in, pretending to browse. First aisle: crisps and snacks. Safe. Not too exciting. His cheeks were already flushing, not from the temperature, but the quiet hum inside his body — tickling that spot in a way no fingers ever had.
He smiled at a middle-aged woman comparing tortilla chips. She smiled back. He almost moaned.
Don’t get hard, don’t get hard, don’t get hard.
He moved on to the health aisle, heart pounding now, hips shifting slightly with every step. He reached for a packet of condoms — out of pure panic, not need — just to look like a normal bloke. The Edge 2 kicked up a notch. He’d accidentally brushed the “intense pulse” pattern on his phone screen.
His knees buckled.
He gripped the shelf.
Played it off as if he’d dropped something.
You absolute sicko. You’re gonna blow in the bloody lube section.
He needed to calm down. But instead, he made the worst decision of all: he turned toward the freezer aisle.
Because cold, surely, would help. Cool off. Ground him. Get him home safe.
Wrong.
He got as far as Aisle 6 — frozen veg and pizzas, when his hand brushed against something in his hoodie pocket. Something he’d stuffed in earlier just in case.
It wasn’t meant for this trip. Just... backup. Insurance. Curiosity.
But there it was. Warm from his body heat. Ready to flip open and grip like a vice.
No one else was in the aisle.
He checked.
CCTV? Probably.
Risky? Absolutely.
Bonkers? 100%.
And that’s when the bastard inside him — the bored, reckless, horny man who’d been alone for far too long — made the call.
He ducked into the freezer nook — the little corner where the fridges formed an L-shape and no one ever bothered to go unless they were hunting for those £1 garlic baguettes.
He opened his basket.
Inside:
-
Bag of peas (camouflage)
-
Bottle of fizzy water
-
Packet of crisps
-
Mini bottle of Sliquid Organics lube
He opened the Flip ORB. Quietly.
Squirted a bit of lube inside. His hands were shaking. Part nerves, part anticipation.
The Edge 2 was now pulsing in a steady wave, as if it knew what was coming.
He angled the toy. Slipped in.
Oh. Bloody. Hell.
The Flip ORB gripped. Not just around — but with those internal orbs pressing and massaging just the right bits. It was like getting wanked off by a robot that really cared.
His breathing hitched.
The toy slurped with lube — soft, wet, perfect.
His back arched slightly as he leaned against the freezer. The cold metal kissed his spine while the heat in his groin surged.
He looked down. He couldn’t even see his cock anymore — buried deep in the Flip ORB, twitching, clenching, aching.
Almost there.
And then — the Edge 2 surged.
A sudden spike in power.
He must’ve accidentally leaned on the “Max Blast” button on his phone.
His arse clenched. His toes curled. His hips jerked forward.
He tried to gasp — but the sound that came out was closer to a whimper.
And then...
He came.
Hard.
Deep.
Full-body.
The kind of orgasm that made your vision go white and your legs nearly give way.
It throbbed through him — from his prostate, down to his toes, out through every pore.
He felt his knees hit the freezer. The cold grounding him just enough to stop a collapse.
The Flip ORB oozed lube. His cock pulsed inside, still twitching.
The Edge 2 buzzed one last time and shut off.
Silence.
Stillness.
Absolute, shame-soaked bliss.
He stood there for a second, breathing like he’d just run a mile.
Then… panic.
He wiped the toy with a spare tissue. Stuffed everything back in his hoodie. Tried to remember how to walk. How to look normal.
He bought the peas.
Epilogue
Back home, after a long shower, he lay in bed grinning.
He wasn't proud. But he wasn't sorry either.
Because for once, he felt alive. Not just a lonely bloke with sex toys.
A filthy, thrilled, buzzed bastard who took a risk… and loved every second of it.
And next time?
Maybe Aisle 7.